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#1
13-05-2013, 11:55
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Love's Sweet Exile
I think I’ve Found It. A Design For Life. My Rendition of how to live. I write this in the Indian Summer of my life. How did I get here? I’d felt low before, but after The Descent in to The Second Great Depression I recognised the Black Dog On My Shoulder and decided that Everything Must Go. I wanted to live Faster in an attempt to Stay Beautiful. I had realised that life is short and is Born To End – my brother William’s Last Words to me. Fed up of being asked “So Why So Sad?” or being told I felt like this because “You’re Tender and You’re Tired”, and under a Tsunami of criticism from family and friends that made me feel Ready For Drowning, I told my understanding partner Emily “You’re Love Alone is Not Enough”, packed up my bags and left. I left my job – I was the Royal Correspondent for the local paper – as well. But where to go? From Despair to Where? Then I remembered where I’d felt happiest and headed to Hazleton Avenue in Australia. It was painful, but now it feels like The Future Has Been Here Forever. She wrote to me once, saying “You Stole the Sun from My Heart”. She took it badly and never really recovered.
We had a lot of differences. Music for instance – she loved that Motown Junk. I wanted to Let Robeson Sing. Her habit of Peeled Apples for breakfast annoyed me. Her insistence on Tennessee Fried Chicken after a night out made me feel ill. And The Love of Richard Nixon was just plain weird. We did have some things in common. We both loved art and photography – we met at a Kevin Carter exhibition in 1985. There were good times too - a holiday in a busy resort in Spain was a highlight – endless beaches and A Billion Balconies Facing the Sun. At times it was intense – No Surface, All Feeling. It was too much for me. She was getting closer to me while I was getting Further Away. If I could have found a way out occasionally perhaps things would have been different, but all I found was Doors Closing Slowly. We were poisoning each other, like a type of relationship Autointoxication. As much as we tried to deal with it properly – I tried to say “It’s not War – Just the End of Love”, we were in reality driving each other up Suicide Alley. The background music to our lives – family, friends, art – was playing A Song for Departure. She had a son from a previous relationship. We got on well. He was a child when I left – now I get Postcards From a Young Man. I love the contact, but it’s a constant reminder that La Tristesse Durera. He wrote to me not long after I left and said “She is Suffering”. I ignored it. I later found out that she dropped to 4st 7lb, and then She Bathed Herself in a Bath of Bleach. I still feel bad now. If anyone ever tells you Suicide is Painless, I can tell you they are wrong. Life is good here. I have a small place, a nice garden and a little fishing boat. My Little Empire. The sea is my Epicentre. I have a quiet life – I Live to Fall Asleep. The first year – or as I called it, The Year of Purification – I tried to distance myself from everything I ever knew. And then my father died. You can’t just disappear. He was an artist, a very good one – His Last Painting hangs proudly on my wall. Sorry I let you down Dad – you thought Nobody Loved You. You were wrong – I did. I still do. Fragments of my previous life remain, a large collection in my Archives of Pain. The pendant she gave me to hang above my bed To Repel Ghosts is still with me. It doesn’t work. Moving across the world isn’t easy. There are some practical issues, like what to do with your money. Natwest, Barclays, Midlands, Lloyds – none of them exist over here. The Everlasting cultural confusion can make you feel Enola/Alone. But there’s great SYMMetry here too. The Convalescent in me recognises that alone is what I wanted to be and couldn’t be in the UK. Now that I am, I often feel afflicted by self-imposed loneliness – Another Invented Disease. Overall though, I’m happier here. I always thought there was something missing in the UK – like we were Empty Souls. Now, sitting on the Golden Platitudes that are the sandbanks that line thebeach enjoying the Ocean Spray I feel I have Found That Soul. I always said I would Die in the Summertime. Now I can, and when I go home, they can play me one last Autumnsong. And then I will hopefully find Some Kind of Nothingness and finally complete the phrase “Solitude Sometimes Is”… 
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#3
13-05-2013, 13:26
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Now that's a first post, although it will be difficult to Repeat. I think I'd have to be Bored Out Of My Mind to come up with such a long post, and after composing it it'd be something I'd Never Want Again. Well, I say that, but I suppose if I was stuck somewhere like the Antarctic, and thought to myself 'it's Too Cold Here, I'm All Alone Here' it'd be something to do.
In some ways your post was like a Love Letter To The Future. You posted it, but We Were Never Told it was going to arrive. Now I have a friend called Ballad, and I was saying to him on Sunday, This Is Yesterday I'm talking about, 'hey, you're a Fearless Punk Ballad, aren't you? 'Yes', he said, and then pointed out that it's all very well talking about what might happen soon but The Future Has Been Here 4 Ever. I have no idea why he started talking using numbers, I mean I Know The Numbers, but that's no reason to use them instead of letters. That guy is sometimes crazier than Patrick Bateman, for all his punk credentials he designs Interiors for a living. Anyway, it's not like I'm Hanging On his very word. Have you ever seen Horses Under Starlight? For a Starlover like me it's very Picturesque. I hear one of the horses I saw, Lady Lazarus, recently won a string of races for her owner, the Irish trainer R.P. McMurphy. Sadly the jockey is a Drug Drug Druggy and though well-wishers took him Roses In The Hospital it's not looking like that story's going to have a Happy Ending. I did have a longer post prepared, but sadly I stored part of it in the cloud and now I'm getting a 1404 error, I think a server went down after some kids hacked it, the Little Trolls.
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 'Those Manics are great mun ent'it!' | Miyazaki-San, Arigato | POPCORN!  | PorcoTunes: SC=fdporco YT=PorcoForever | | I know our time has come and gone / At least we blazed a trail and shone | | Yes I knew this thing would end / I did not know where or when |
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#5
13-05-2013, 20:41
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show off
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#6
13-05-2013, 21:12
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Great work all!
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"Former glam-punk rocker James Dean Bradfield now looks like your friendly, slightly rumpled Welsh uncle who always brings you chocolate when he visits. That's not a bad thing." - Allister Thompson aka The Gateless Gate (Canadian musician)
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#8
14-05-2013, 03:45
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Well, this Girl Who Wanted to be God is impressed. This Red Sleeping Beauty who without the kiss of her prince to break the enchantment, metamorphoses into a seedling that is a Sleepflower. Maleficent is Staring at the Midnight Sun. Don't Be Evil, but do stop The Soulmates from reuniting. Nobody Loved You, Dear Queen, but We are Not Her Majesty's Prisoners in the Mausoleum.
All is vanity, or so they say. I shall now write my Song for Departure, whilst I Engage With Your Shadow. I'd like to visit Australia, Yes. I'm not a hoarder, but a bit of a Bag Lady. Currently Out of Time, trying to catch the Train in Vain. The Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head as I contemplate Some Kind of Nothingness stilling my heart. Too many Distractions here, and This is the Day that I will Send Away the Tigers. Doors Closing Slowly. The Prologue to History. 4 Ever Delayed. Perhaps I need a visit to Hazelton Avenue. I Think I Found It there.
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#13
14-05-2013, 12:03
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I always thought I was Born to End. But before I end, I want to do something big, so I started a New Art Riot with a comic series project whose end seems to be Forever Delayed due to life Distractions. Time Ain’t Nothing, still I thought, I can finish it off later. So I washed my Inky Fingers, and turned some TV on to Kiss My Eyes for Eternity. So Dead I stare at the screen, program after program, The Passing Show lets me know that I’m Broken Up Again.
The Autumn Song waves its Long Goodbye and The Christmas Ghost haunts me down, so I want to go for a walk by the sea where Comfort Comes. But it’s raining heavily, so I put my Red Rubber shoes on, took and Umbrella and got out. As Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head, I realize I was walking with no direction and that I have come to an Askew Road. Like a Little Girl Lost, I couldn’t find my way back home. I kept trying with my GPS, when a random Damn Dog with his gestures invited me to follow him. Yes, he leads me back home, and the closer we get, the Faster he walks. Surprised and grateful I gave him some sausages, he took them and went Further Away. So I got into My Little Empire again, my room, and in front of the mirror I think of my look for tonight’s party. It has been a busy week, so to Stay Beautiful I’m Living Out of a Make Up Bag. But I’m so clumsy when I’m tired, so while putting the mascara on my hand missed my eyelashes and goes straight into my eyes. With these Foggy Eyes I try to fix the eyeliner up, but my elbow makes my eye shadow falling down on the ground, breaking. So I collect its Fragments and clean the pavement and I Just Can’t Be Happy with my make over today. And I wanted to look like Miss Europa Disco Dancer... Maybe I just had to Be Natural, I guess.
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100 0100 110 0001 111 0010 110 1001 110 0001 Last edited by Dac X Lee; 14-05-2013 at 12:13.
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#14
14-05-2013, 14:14
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Quote:
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#15
15-05-2013, 03:29
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I've come down with a case of the Wattsville Blues tonight. I've always felt that Feminine is Beautiful, but I suppose that was me in 1985. Not these modern times. This is the Day that my life will surely change.
I've grown up since then, got married. Not really Picturesque. It rained on my wedding day. Had to use an Umbrella for a lot of the pictures. Had Baby Elian after our first anniversary. My husband sent me Roses in the Hospital. Not quite The Everlasting I was hoping for. We're now separated. Darling, Your Love Alone is Not Enough. No more Pedestal for you. We were both Primitive Painters, lost in Sepia. I've found a Starlover. He says he's one of the Knights of Cydonia, but I think he's a Valley Boy. A Working Class Hero. I'm his Velocity Girl. He likes taking Voodoo Polaroids. Welcome to the Dead Zone. I've been drinking a lot of Ocean Spray lately. I'm All Alone Here, but I don't really mind. The city has changed. Lots of Dead Trees and Traffic Islands. I took the Last Exit on Yesterday while driving home. Some Donkeys escaped from the zoo the other day. I'm Not Working right now. Taking some time off. Feeling like a Little Girl Lost. No One Knows What it's Like to be Me. Last edited by Frozendiva; 15-05-2013 at 03:35.
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