Made Up Manics Facts

[starstruck]

to silence fans and critics alike, Nicky & James decided to let Sean do all the publicity for the album after JFPL.

Sean spent months working on the right things to say. he really wanted to make all his comments and statements word perfect, ensuring that every phrase encapsulated all that he wanted to say on behalf of the band. this was to be Sean's revelations - he would make the world pay attention, taking Manics fans and dissidents who had never heard of him or the band before to a new level of spiritual, philosophical and to a degree political understanding. Lord Byron's ideals of universal love would finally be within our grasp.

James and Nicky kept a respectful distance from Sean as he locked himself away, wrestling with the right words and phrases. they caught a brief glimpse of what he was doing, however, and immediately decided to call the album Postcards From A Young Man to celebrate what he had to say, going to the extent of hiring a gospel choir to underline the rapture of what it would be that Sean would reveal to the world.

with his statement prepared, as 2009 creeped into its final quarter, Sean was so proud and full of confidence that he decided to seek out his old nemesis from the Die Another Day debacle, Madonna, and read the statement to her just to show how much better than her he was.

unfortunately, in his confidence, he skipped passed Madonna and dialled the next name on his phone, Maradona (D). Maradona was so impressed with the statement, "you can all suck my f*****g dick! and keep sucking!" that he decided to share it at once. due to a mix up, however, the assembled journalists were led to believe that they were to hear Maradona speak of Argentina's World Cup qualification campaign and unfortunately took offence to this, complaining to FIFA at once. Sepp Blatter, that well known anti-drum, pro-Madonna, Die Another Day apologist, took this as grounds to ban Maradona from the game for the maximum time allowed for oral sex related incidents, which is four months.

horrified at the unforseen consequences that his carefully constructed statement could have on the world, Sean decided to ditch it and resume his vow of silence, leaving Nicky & James to carry on as if none of this had ever happened.

the only evidence of this is, of course, the fact that Sean's hair is falling out due to the stress of it all.